I am 6 months pregnant with our second child and if it’s one thing I have learned, it’s that I am one mean SOB when I am with-child.
Don’t even bother feeling sorry for my husband because he should know better. Plus, he’s doing quite well these days. He’s still alive at least.
One thing to remember when you’re dealing with a pregnant woman: get ready for the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth….So help you God. If you don’t want to know, don’t ask. If you ask a stupid question, expect to get a long, very truthful, drawn-out answer.
I’m a little bit clinically crazy, even during my pre-pregnancy state. But I can honestly tell a major difference from a pregnancy-related “psychotic” episode versus a non-pregnancy-related “psychotic” episode. I am very much aware of when I sound irrational when it’s pregnancy-induced psychosis. Most of the time, I will tell my husband that I know I am being evil but I’m pregnant and that’s just how it is right now.
You know how some old people say that when you get to a certain age, you just don’t give a damn about anything anymore? What you look like. What you say to people. What people think of you. None of it matters. Well, the same goes for pregnant women. Just like old timers, we just don’t give a damn.
A message to those husbands:
Don’t worry. We don’t actually hate you… And with time, this too, shall pass
We Get Sick of Feeling Helpless
The further along you are in your pregnancy, the more helpless you tend to feel. I don’t like asking for help and actually become aggravated whenever I have to ask for help when I’m pregnant.
For example, I asked my husband to put a glass dish away for me yesterday. It was heavy and belongs on the top shelf. Sure, I could have gotten a chair to do it myself but I shouldn’t have, due to the risk of falling. But also, I was tired.
Feeling helpless during pregnancy sucks because you desperately want to do things the way that you are used to doing them. And sometimes, you get aggravated because you’d rather be the one actually doing something but you just can’t.
2. We Pee Our Pants
It’s gross. It’s annoying. But it happens, and we can’t help it. If my husband even gives me the slightest look of suspicion while I am trying to clean myself up (God knows there is no privacy in this house), then all Hell will break loose.
“Yeah, I pissed myself again! Got something to say about it!?” I seriously have issues, I know.
3. We’re Tired
We are so, soo, soooo unbelievable tired. And one thing that I have learned from being pregnant a second time around is that it is a lot harder.
During my first pregnancy, I had it made. I could sleep in on my days off and was never disturbed while I was taking a nap. But when you add a 4-year old child to your home, you never sleep in and all naps will be interrupted.
Here are a few reasons why my darling son has woken me up from naps during this pregnancy:
a.) to make him a sandwich
b.) to find out where his favorite truck was
c.) to get him a drink
ALL of those were asked while his father was 100% in charge of him and completely available. My son says that I just do things better than his dad, which I can’t disagree with or get mad at a true statement like that. So instead, I inform my husband that this is b.s.
I am not a doctor but I can assure you that my hormones are like playing a game of Whack-a-Mole….You just never know.
5. We Hurt
Our feet, our neck, our cankles, and our back. Everything hurts.
6. Sympathy Weight
Sometimes husbands are known to pack on a few pounds while their wife is pregnant. My husband sure has this time around and I am sick of hearing about it. He is a slender guy that has put on about 10 pounds. Boo. Hoo.
7. Social Media
The way social media perceives pregnancy is that we should still have our shit together. It literally took me about an hour to find a photo decent enough to edit and upload for this post. Why? Because ALL of the stock images are of happy, “glowing” pregnant women. That is not reality!
A lot of people get maternity photos or post pictures of how amazing they look during their pregnancy. It’s definitely exciting to have a new baby and I can’t wait to hold her. But as far as the actual process of pregnancy goes, it is not something to be viewed as anything other than hard and exhausting. Maybe if we stopped glorifying it, there would be far less teen pregnancies popping up all over the place.
All while I’m sitting here behind my computer in a pair of sweatpants, XL mens t-shirt, and hair that hasn’t been washed in two days. Why try to hide the fact that I am a hot mess right now? Our bodies are currently not made to look normal or cute. Stay comfortable, my preggo friends.
8. We’re Bloated
Nothing is worse than being hungry but bloated at the same time. It is one of the most uncomfortable and pitiful feelings that someone can feel.
I went through a phase during my second trimester where I was constantly bloated and gassy. No matter how long I waited or tried to “walk it off”, it just wouldn’t go away.
Add cravings to this and it’s torture! “I want you, taco but I just can’t have you right now!”
9. Weird Looks at the Grocery Store
It doesn’t matter what I’m buying at the grocery store and people will think its funny. So what is the conveyor belt is loaded with pickles and chocolate?
10. Nothing Fits Right
Even if its baggy, it still doesn’t fit right. Pregnancy clothes still need tugged at and unless you’re wearing a turtleneck, your boobs are going to be popping out of somewhere.
11. There is no such thing as TMI.
Like I mentioned in the intro to this post, if you don’t want to know something, then don’t ask. Even if it’s a rhetorical question, chances are, you’re still going to get the full answer.
Why do I use so much toilet paper on a daily basis?
Oh, let me count the ways. If I don’t use pee every hour, on the hour, then I will end up urinating in my pants. If I pee my pants, then that will increase the need for water, laundry detergent, and electricity. Plus, if I pee my pants enough in one day, I will be forced into purchasing new clothing articles. In conclusion, you will be spending a whole lot more money in the long run on utility bills and clothes. Or, you could just let me use as much bleeping toilet paper as I want. I’m pregnant, asshole.